but isn’t it great when it doesn’t.
I know…it sounds terrible, right? Well here is the explanation:
Recently I have been seeing very little of the wonderful woman in my life and I have come to realize something, and it’s that I am terribly excited that time apart doesn’t compare to time together.
Now, of course this seems like an obvious response. You are sitting there and reading this and thinking… of course you jackass.
So, I will elaborate a little bit further. Yes, I have missed my lovely girlfriend terribly lately when we have been apart. Every time that I have had the opportunity to see her my heart races a little bit. But, some people need absence to make the heart grow fonder and for me this is not the case.
I have realized that my heat grows fonder every time that she smiles at me, or every time that she laughs (a beautiful laugh). Every time that her body presses against mine while she holds my hand, or suggests something ridiculous like we need to watch the movie enchanted.
My point is that I realize that my heart will never grow fond apart from hers, it will only ache. However, I am one of the lucky people who get to experience what it is like to find another person who makes my heart skip every time that we are together. What does this mean? It means that my heart grows fonder every second that we are together.
A lot of relationships need a break. A lot of people need time apart to realize or remember the things that made them fall in love. I am lucky enough to have found a woman that makes me realize I need none of that. I am lucky enough to have this beautiful woman in my life, and lucky enough to fall in love with her all over again every single time that I see her.
So does time apart make my heart grow fonder? Absolutely not. All it really does is hinder another opportunity for me to fall in love with this beautiful woman all over again… and fall even harder than I did the day before.
So keep your absence, I am going to go see her and fall in love all over again… jealous?
You should be. She is amazing.
Okay, I want to kick you in your face. I am sorry to throw rocks at this because I have several friends that live in this status—but eat shit. If you are busy then please get off of Gmail.
I mean lets be serious. You log-on and check your email and then you log-off. It’s not that hard. But, if you are going to log-on and leave your account open all day then please deal with the consequences. It’s not like that little red icon is stopping any communication from popping up on your screen.
And most importantly, and again I apologize, but f*@k you because you are not that busy.
I am by nature a hater of sorts. I can say that I enjoy people watching and pointing out all of the disastrous things that people are wearing. There is no better time of the year for this activity than when you are in the midst of a season change.
The weather is cool when you wake up but the temperature continually rises throughout the day—you get some people wearing some crazy things. Especially for the city in which I reside, people are just a hot mess right now. However, this is not the wonderful thing that money cannot buy.
Yesterday when I left work I met up with my wonderful girlfriend and we crossed the street to a park across from my office, sat on a bench for two hours, chatted and people watched while the sun set. I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed myself quite so much between the hours of 5:30-7:30 (yup, getting off early these days). Throughout the entire time we sat I kept thinking to myself how wonderful the evening was, and that this is what makes something great—it cannot be bought.
There are lots of things that couples can do to kill time, but I am excited that I can truly enjoy the person that I am with. I hope that I don’t ever have to look at time spent with this amazing woman as “time killed.” I am very happy that I can sit outside, enjoy her, and be happy that it doesn’t take anything but her presence, smile, and personality to make the world a good place—and this is coming from a serious critic.
If you ever find yourself wondering “is this girl special?” just take her to a park and sit on a bench for two hours. I imagine you’ll find out pretty quick if you are the luckiest guy on earth or simply killing time.
I am typically bitter about most things DC, MD, VA—I guess I have not given enough consideration to the wild and wonderful West Virginia.
Today I left Washington, D.C. for an afternoon hike in WV and it was the best decision that I have made in quite some time. The drive alone was an escape from the daily drag of the city in the summer. But when I arrived at my destination I knew that I had made the perfect decision for the day.
The hike was a litmus test for exactly how out of shape I am. I am certainly out of shape. The uphill hike of 2.5 miles was a test, but as my girlfriend and I reached the top and stood on the overlook which provided a panoramic view of Shenandoah river and the town below it felt as though we were on vacation. The level of relaxation was great. It is rare that I am able to take a simple afternoon activity and completely check out of work, stress, and my daily grind. Today I was able to do just that.
Living in the city, it is very easy to forget how many wonderful things are at your fingertips if you are just willing to take the time to travel to see them. Today reaffirmed that I need to get out of D.C. more and that I am with a wonderful woman. Now I just have to figure out what we are going to do next.
here you can have mine, I pried them out of my head around 3 o’clock today.
There is really nothing more important than doing what you love. This is a saying that has been around forever and relayed to every child around the world to heed beginning as early as middle school. But what do you do if you don’t figure out what you love?
This is another scenario completely. If there is one thing that I think our society over emphasizes it is the importance of knowing what you are going to do with your life at the age of 22. (1) who the fuck knows what they want to do at 22, doctors and lawyers maybe? (2) who doesn’t change between the ages of 22 and 26? (3) What’s the fun in that?
I can appreciate people who have their shit together and do incredible things during their twenties. I think that is a great thing, but at what cost. No matter what happens the grass is almost always greener. You may be rich at 40 but wish you had your formative years back or you may be climbing the ladder in your thirties wishing that you were rich. The important thing to remember, at least in my humble opinion, is to pay attention to what’s going on around you and regardless of your path be sure to enjoy the little things along the way.
If you want to chase big picture goals your entire life that’s great. But if you never stop to enjoy the path, good or bad, you’ll never grow with true happiness. Money, security, tangible things can always make you happy for a while but after time there is only so much happiness that can be contrived from these things. Love, happiness, family, and great memories are all things that you can have in the highest and lowest points of your life and I guarantee will be the most important at either point.
Okay, nothing sucks more in a relationship than when you are both going through a pattern of up’s and down’s. One minute one person is happy and everything is going great while at the same time the other is stressed, unhappy, and battling internally. This is a pattern and a situation that reveals a lot about how two people interact and at what level the other plays a role in their partners life. There is nothing worse than trying to relieve the sadness, stress, or tension of the person you care for and they seemingly could give a shit about what you’re saying to them at that time. This is certainly a red flag depending on how long you have been with that person.
Early on in a relationship it may not be your place to comment, no matter how bad you want to help out and see that person happy. Sometimes the best course of action is just to be available, listen, and be supportive of the decision made by your partner. This may not always be exactly what you would have chosen but if you want to be their choice, still, the next day, sometimes the best course of actions is just to shut the f*@k up and be there for them. The best thing that you can do is listen well. Don’t be an ass and not be able to contribute if he/she may want advice a week from now—so listen if they talk. By not forcing your opinion right away you may be a voice they want to hear a week or two down the road after they have considered options. Patience is a virtue, so practice patience and good things may come.
Second, this is a great opportunity for a glimpse into how your partner handles stress as well as what they value most. When career, school, or life in general is getting them down you have the opportunity to see who they turn to, as well as what they value most important when they prioritize their life decisions to get out of the perceived, or legitimate, rut in which they are currently stuck.
When you have been in a relationship for any amount of time beyond a year the rules change. In most cases the situation is a bit more serious and such decisions could result in both of your lives changing. Also, most people would like to become someone for their significant other to turn to in a time of stress or sadness. This will not always be the case with everything. There will always be times when a girl or a guy will go to their friends before their significant other. Sometimes dude’s will just need a “dude” answer and women will just need a “girl” answer—it happens. But if the decision is serious and you need to be involved, keep it simple. Think about what points you need to make and stick to them. Don’t let yourself go running off topic. There can be a lot of emotion involved, keep it simple and focused.
In the end, relationships are always going to be complicated at some point. It just happens, what can you do? Just be patient, listen, and read the cues given by your girlfriend/boyfriend. If you don’t pay attention you run the chance of missing your window of opportunity which from my experience is rarely advertised verbally as much as telegraphed through body language. Don’t be an idiot, be supportive, listen and be patient. In no time you will both be happy and back up in the clouds again. Or at least you will know if you were meant to last. Either way, pay attention and you’ll do just fine.
Why is neutral such a bad thing? I guess the thought of going no where does carry a specific negative connotation. One of the worst things in a relationship is being caught in neutral. At first this can often seem as though it is a stage of comfort, however this can often turn to unrest and sense of slow decay. Deciphering these two feelings can be difficult.
Being comfortable in a relationship is nowhere near idle. This can be a big step in a relationship in which each person has realized that their lives have come together and there is no longer a sense of where to next? but instead the realization of we are now in this together and most likely—where to next is going to be walking down an aisle.
Neutral is a different story altogether. Neutral is a horrible stage of: this will do for now. This stage does not necessarily mean that things are bad, just most likely that they will be in the future. This is not to say that couples cannot come back from this idle stage to grow strong and happy and moving forward in drive—it’s just figuring out how to get out of neutral.
I have recently been identified, labeled, branded—take your pick—as crazy after making the comment that I do not find Heidi Klum attractive in any way due to the fact that I think she is a hot mess, always dressed shitty on Project Runway and has no business judging designers.
I may very well be in the minority on this one. For me it’s always style and edge that initially attracts me to a woman. This is not to say that I am not also drawn to the characteristics prized by the typical superficial male. For me, however, there is nothing less attractive than a “typical” woman. What is a typical woman? I think that it is safe to say that you could go to any hot spot in any city on a Friday or Saturday night and this would be 90 percent of the women walking around.
Men will always look at a curvy woman—this is built into our DNA. Does this mean that there is an attraction? For me this is not the case. I think that substance is far more attractive than boobs falling out of a shirt or a thong introducing itself from a bar stool. How does this relate to camouflage? Glad that you asked….
I was recently out to dinner and was lucky enough—and by lucky I mean sitting at my table wondering if I might be able render myself unconscious by inserting my fork into my neck—to be seated next to a large table of women (late 20’s to early 30’s) clearly enjoying a “girls night out.”
I was fascinated in the way that the entire table was wearing the exact same thing. Yes, different colors and patterns but more or less the exact same. Why is this? I find it terribly amusing to look at a group of women who are obviously overly confident in their appearance. This entire table all got dressed that evening, looked in the mirror and may have even said aloud to themselves, “you look fierce.” Only slightly more amusing than this is the fact that as they all filed into the restaurant on this evening I am sure that each greeted one another with some form of “hey girl” and a “oooh I love your outfit” type remark.
There’s only one problem ladies—you all look exactly the F@$KING SAME! The table was a sea of leggings, block jewelery, and geometric pattern. There were about three or four different colors on display in the tops worn, but if you stood back there were not faces—just shrieking voices and over-the-top push up bras. There was not a single personality among the entire group, and yet each woman seated at that table obviously felt as though they were something to be treasured by every male in the room. Not quite.
I may be among the minority in my opinions but I feel strongly about this. When it comes time for “ladies night,” be an individual and try to work with a little substance. Perhaps you could tuck the boobs away just a bit and leave a little to the male imagination. yes, cleavage is sexy. Yes, men will look. But, be a personality. Be a pretty smile. Be original and stylish. Don’t be a push up bra, a thong, and f@#king annoying.
Stand out. Sometimes originality can be more attractive in jeans and blouse than a a push up bra and a thong hidden among a plastic display.
I am a pretty free spirited do what feels right kind of person. There are not a lot of things that I am not willing to try once and for the most part I live my life doing what I want. Sounds kind of rotten I know, but this is the sort of statement that creates confusion, which leads me to my rule.
I will get to the rule but I must run with this confusion bit, being that it is the basis for my rule. Inside the realm of “what I want” there is a lot of passion, opinion, and some have even said “bratty-ness.” I don’t necessarily contest this, however there is also a great deal of concern, emotion, and deep rooted feelings for the people who are close to me.
So, it is not uncommon for me to come off looking like an asshole. People that are close to me know that this is my style and that in all reality there may not be someone who could care more deeply about the people in his life than I. So how does all this fit into a rule having to deal with confusion? Let me explain.
My rule is that I won’t ever again end a conversation leaving either party without a clear understanding. There is nothing worse than a conversation ended with doubt, misunderstanding, or mixed emotions lingering. I know this due to my manner of speaking and expressing emotions and opinions that perhaps should be held back but in my case are not. The result can be one of two things: (1) The person on the other end of the conversation walks away thinking “this guy is an asshole,” or (2) I am left wondering if the other person thinks that I am an asshole. Either way it is a terrible way to leave a conversation. In most cases I am not an asshole, it’s merely just the way I say things that may come out wrong and sound terrible if I am not afforded the opportunity to explain. Touching on a subject that I am passionate about sends me into a mode of communication that can easily be taken the wrong way. Ending a conversation in this mode can very easily be disastrous.
Ending a conversation when you feel that you have left a bad taste in someone’s mouth can be a lousy thing. Having this happen with someone that you care about very much can leave you feeling sick to your stomach. There is nothing worse than ending a conversation and wondering if the other person now thinks your a total asshole.
I feel sick to my stomach.
“METRO”—need I say more. I am sure that you already know where this is going. I am going to touch on this subject anyway.
Being a D.C. resident—one that lives in the capitol hill neighborhood—I hold a certain opinion towards summer tourists. But today that has changed. I have realized that the residents and daily commuters of our city are far more stupid than the tourists visiting from f-ing Kentucky, Idaho, or whatever small city.
As I board my train, which was running on an outstandingly efficient 7 minute interval during morning rush, I am overwhelmed and surrounded by assholes. Usually this realization is followed by a deep breath and an internal voice telling me “they don’t know better just relax.” But this morning, these assholes should have known better because they do this everyday.
Before I even get into a daily rolling suitcase, stopping in a crowd to read your blackberry message, sneezing and coughing without covering your mouth or at least pretending like you were going to, I am forced to address personal hygiene. Yes, welcome to second grade when you first learn that you are supposed to shower—with soap—and wear clean clothes everyday. Okay, you stinking jerks (literally), it’s f@#king hot outside, do you know what that means? yes, exactly! you are going to sweat and that can lead to an odor that may be less than pleasant. Wear some f-ing deodorant. Put on some clean clothes. Baby powder for Christ’s sake! And, by absolutely no means should you ever wear a sleeveless shirt when you know you are going to board a crowded train and have to raise you arms to hold on—especially when you weigh over three bills and sweat like a hog. WTF! Yes, you may be comfortable but we live in a society you f-ing jerk. That means that there are other people to be considered and I am one of them.
On to riders. First of all, lets limit the size of rolling suitcases allowed on the train. I am sure you have been to the airport and are familiar with the little plastic window on the conveyor belt. If you can’t figure out a way to travel back and forth from your office with less than a full size suitcase on wheels you need stop and: (1) ask someone to punch you in the face because you are a f-ing pile, (2) evaluate your life, (3) move out of the city.
Now on to mobile dicks. First, who are you f@#king kidding. I know that you are not that important and more importantly whatever you are reading right now can wait the 15 minutes remaining until you get to your office. Second, I know that you are playing Tetris asshole. Don’t try to act like you are feverishly closing million dollar deals on your blackberry or iPhone when you are just trying to get the fourth level. Now, I cannot act as though I am not slightly addicted to my blackberry, but I do have respect for those around and so should you. And above all else, don’t ever stop in a crowd or a line to go up the escalator. If you are too f*#king stupid to read your phone and walk at the same time: (1) we have services for you, (2) step to the side jerk.
Lastly, it’s pretty simple: cover you mouth when you are coughing or sneezing your germs all over the train.